Monday, May 11, 2009

Is it okay for a man to give his ex-wife flowers for his birthday?

A friend of mines long term boy friend recently sent his ex-wife flowers for her birthday. She thinks that sending flowers is a romantic gesture. He explained that they were just a spring arrangement, not roses and that he sent them to be nice. He re assured her that she had nothing to worry about. My friend felt a bit hurt because her boyfriend had not sent her flowers for 4 years and then sent some to his ex. Is she over reacting or does she have a valid reason to be upset? I told her I'd get some opinions.

Is it okay for a man to give his ex-wife flowers for his birthday?
If I was your friend I would be pissed too only because he hadn't sent me flowers in 4 years, but he sends her flowers? Oh no! That would NOT be cool with me. For any reason in the world, it would NOT be cool.





If him and his ex have children together, that MIGHT be a reason to send her flowers. To keep some sort of friendship relationship is important when you have kids. If they don't have kids, I don't care how good of friends you are, you really do not have a reason to send flowers. A card, ok. A gift card to a store, ok. But I think flowers are a romantic gesture when coming from a man to a woman.





If I were your friend, I would get to the bottom of this. It sounds like maybe his feelings are getting involved with this woman again.





I do not know the whole situation. I am only saying this based on what you said.





I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. But all I know is, when your gut tells you something isn't right, it usually isn't.
Reply:not wrong but inappropriate
Reply:She has a valid reason to be upset. How did your friend find out he sent flowers? Did he tell her or did she somehow have to find out on her own?





I think flowers are a great way to let someone know you're thinking of them--but why is he thinking of his ex and not his current? On the other hand, some guys are just clueless.
Reply:tell her to call joey greco and cheaters
Reply:Absolutely. Most chicks would see getting flowers that way. Even if he doesn't, his ex wife probably will. Not at all a good message to be sending. Then again, alot of guys only buy flowers when they have done something wrong. Perhaps her having not received any for 4 years is a good sign (or maybe Im just reaching???)
Reply:I see nothing wrong in him sending his ex-wife the "spring bouquet" (not romantic) flowers. I think so many people forget that ex's have a history, and just because you are no longer together, that history doesn't dissolve. I would much rather break up and be on good terms with my ex than go through life hating him. Jealousy, on the other hand, which sounds as though what your friend has, is a big poison to a relationship. If your friend cannot accept her boyfriend's explanation about the flowers, how is she going to accept all of the other day-in and day-out problems/circumstances that come with all relationships? I say she needs to grow up, get a bit more self-confidence and chill out a bit. He is still with her, right? I see a generous, caring man there, and I bet that is what attracted her to him in the first place.
Reply:my ex still sends me flowers and gifts ..but they are "from the kids" so in my opinion thats the only way or reason he should do it
Reply:Kick the dumb kid out! If he's not smart enough to realize that the one he's with deserves more attention than the one he had, he's not worth keeping!
Reply:She has a valid reason to be upset
Reply:No its ok, its good they keep good relations, for the kids sake
Reply:Some people thinks it rong n sum dont but if it woz my bf id bee wurid that he has feelings 4 her still !!!
Reply:If he's dating your friend for four years and never given her flowers, it means that he doesn't consider flowers a romantic gift for someone he loves. Thus sending flowers to his ex-wife makes perfect sense: he neither loves her nor considers it romantic, so it's an easy, lame gift in his mind.





I understand why your friend may be upset; women tend to associate flowers with romance. But in this guy's case, I don't think it's a big deal at all.


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